The Next Phase

I guess I am only capable of bulk updates this cycle....

So, of the 22 eggs retrieved, only 9 were mature and only 5 fertilized...definitely disappointed that we ended up with the same number of embryos as last cycle.

On Day 3, in our pre-transfer conference they presented us with a pic of 3 embryos this time...which is weird cause we had just had a discussion about whether or not to transfer more this time. They told us the chance for success went from roughly 45-55% to 55-65% and with 3 embryos only a 20% chance of twins and less than 1% chance of triplets...so we went for it. Transfer went much better than last time, but still not as easy as it apparently should be.

I couldn't sleep the next 2 nights as I kept waking up with weird twinges all through the night. Baby Daddy finally convinced me to call doctor on Friday to make sure all was ok. Doctor says it sounds like I have a mild case of OHSS and tells me to come in for exam and ultrasound on Saturday. Then Friday night hits and we have a horrible night. Pains all through the night, can't sleep and every time I get up to go to the bathroom, I get nauseous and dizzy and have to lay back down. Ultrasound and exam reveal enlarged ovaries and 2 pockets of fluid - mild to moderate OHSS. Told to stay home and do as little as possible while drinking Gatorade. So, spend the weekend laying around and then work from home for 2 days before going back for follow-up ultrasound. This time (different doctor) says all is good. Ovaries are still enlarged, but not more than expected at this point and fluid pockets seems to be gone.

So, essentially I've spent the last week obsessed with whether or not I am pregnant. Have scoured the internet reading about signs and symptoms trying to figure out which category I fall into. I tell ya, this 2WW, as they call it, can drive a person crazy!!!!! Good thing I have tons of work to distract me.

Emotions have been up and down. Started to feel depressed that the cycle failed again and trying to figure out what in the world to do if that was the case. My intial thoughts after the OHSS diagnosis is that I am not putting myself through this again. Maybe an embryo donation is the way to go. Then after about a day of that, I said no. I am not giving up on my dream of being a mom to my own baby. That has always been my dream and I am not letting it go that easy. I had a serious conversation with God and the Universe to let them both now that I am not giving up. That this is the time and I am ready. I've asked, I've believed and now it is time to receive. I decided to change my attitude and have been thinking and feeling much more positive ever since. I have been choosing to believe and have been sending light and love to the 3 embryos that they are healthy and doing just what they need to in order to lead to a successful pregnancy. I am visualizing myself pregnant and us with our healthy baby...or babies as the case may be. Funny, how I am now so open to either twins or triplets when I was once adamantly against multiples. Now, I just want to be pregnant and will take whatever number of babies God and the Universe wants to bless us with. Watch what you ask for!!! : )

So, the last couple days I have continued to have various twinges throughout the days and nights and wonder if that is the sign that things are progressing this time. Definitely a different experience from last time. I am choosing to believe that I am pregnant.

God, Universe, and all the powers that be....thank you for bringing us this far and I trust that all is well. That the babies are well and growing inside of me.

On Sunday we go in for HCG test....4 more days....

Bring it (them) on! : )