Pregnancy Update

Hit the 5 week mark today. Still no signs of bleeding - so different from the previous 3 cycles. Thyroid tests all came back at optimum levels. I have to re-check every 4-6 weeks throughout pregnancy. Still hard to believe this is really happening. Hard to wait the 2 more weeks until ultrasound. Have a referral for a regular OB that I will call after the 7wk US. We will wait until at least 12 weeks, but trying to think of a creative way to let grandma and uncle know the news.

Continuing Success

HCG results came back at 302! Doc says that "is a nice rise". Yeah!!!! Yippee! Yahooie!!! Next appointment is the 7 week ultrasound on Aug 15th. No bleeding still....that has to be a good thing, right? Slight feelings of nauseous today....not sure if it's my imagination or the real thing. Still trying not to get too excited, but couldn't resist buying an adorable outfit today.

Success

BFP!!!
HCG results today show I'm pregnant with HCG level at 130. Can you believe it??? I'm afraid to believe or be too excited based on previous outcomes. So grateful that I've had no bleeding up to this point and take that as a really positive sign. Repeat HCG in 2 days. I want to be excited, but it is still sooo early in the game. Due date predictor shows as April 1, 2013. Really, April Fools Day??? Not sure how I feel about that given all we've been through! There is a sliver of me that is excited, but just too scared to let it sink in too much. We've been here before. Let us hold the vision of a beautiful baby on it's way into this world. After all we have been through, I hope I will treasure every last minute of it. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is the big day...

Roughly 14 hours until we find out if we are finally parents this time....Baby Daddy keeps asking if I think I'm pregnant....really don't know this time...sometimes I think yes, sometimes no. I want to believe I am, but just can't tell. Only symptom is really sore boobies - but I think that could be from the estrogen and progesterone too. No spotting or bleeding yet, which I am taking to be a good sign since I know I had some pre-beta test spotting at least one of the other times. Funny how all the details run together now - can't remember what happened when for the previous 3 cycles. I'm nervous for tomorrow - want the answer to be a yes, but am scared of it being no. Every time I think about it, I try to just keeping telling myself that it is up to God and it is completely out of my control. I doesn't matter how much I want it, wish it or believe it to be true. It will only be if it is meant to be. Will know tomorrow.

Obsessing

The obsessing has officially begun. Am I or not? Ugh....so tired of asking that darn question! Have begun searching the internet for how the process is different with donor eggs....how the blastocysts are graded - to see how the "good" one we got compares to others out there. Looking back at previous posts to see when the bleeding began on previous cycles. Looking for anything that might predict the outcome. It's madness, pure madness. There is nothing that will predict the outcome, yet I keep looking, wanting that reassurance that this time has worked. I try to just keep letting go, but that is so hard. I feel less hopeful than times before, but perhaps that's a coping mechanism. If I don't get the hopes up, they won't have as far to fall. Do I think positive or not???? Please stop the madness in my head....

Transfer and Wait

Got to transfer appointment on Saturday to learn that only 1 embryo was considered "good" for transfer. Super disappointed that using donor eggs and sperm left us with just 1 embryo. All 5 of the others were considered "poor" with only 2 of them having a 50/50 chance of catching up, which they ended up not being able to do. Good news is that the 1 we had was considered good, which is better than the ones we had last round as they were only considered "fair". All we need is one, so we are holding hope that this is our "lucky one".

Transfer itself went relatively well - not as smooth as last time - but better than the first 2 attempts.

Now, we wait until Monday's HCG test....the waiting game....once again.

Fertilization

Yesterday we found out that 6 of the eggs fertilized properly and today all 6 are still developing so we are on board for a Day 5 transfer. Yeah! Except that Baby Daddy won't be able to attend as he has another important comittment to attend to.

We're making a baby!

Sperm has arrived from Minnesota, eggs have arrived from Georgia - we're ready to make a baby! The last few weeks have been spent prepping my uterus by doing Lupron shots to suppress ovulation and using estrogen patches that go on my belly - 4 every other day - that leave fabulous sticky adhesive that is impossible to remove. Yesterday began the wonderful progesterone shots - very similiar to HCG shots which, as you know from earlier posts, are my favorite - NOT! Baby Daddy, on the other hand, loves giving me the shots, which are nightly this time around. 1 down and 83 to go! Yikes!

We got 8 eggs and found out today that all 8 survived the thaw process - the miracles have begun! We are so excited. Tomorrow we get to hear how many fertilized properly. Stay tuned!