The Beginning

Wow. So where to possibly begin? The backstory: I had always planned on having a family of my own...I figured I would go to college, establish my career and then meet a wonderful man and start a family...all during my 20's...sounds reasonable, right? Um, no. Turns out that wasn't meant to be. I finally graduated from college at age 29, but no wonderful husband had appeared yet. So, I revised the plan. No big deal. I didn't need 10 years to accomplish all that. I had plenty of time. Certainly I could meet someone, date for a couple years, get married and begin having children by age 32...Ok, well, maybe age 35. Plenty of women get married and have babies in their mid 30's. No problem...Ok, several more years go by and I start thinking that this is harder than I thought it would be. At age 38, I find myself newly single and wondering how in the world I got here. So much for the "best laid plans"...My fertility clock is ticking so loud I can barely hear anything else. Now what do I do? Find a sperm donor? Adopt a baby? None of these options seem appealing as I don't just want a baby, I want a family. I want the husband, the marriage, the pregnancy...I want all of it. So, I continue to have faith that the plan will be shown to me...

So, the day before I turn 39, I meet him. Several dates (but only about a week's time) later, I decide I must have the "conversation" with him. I don't have time to casually date - I'm nearly 40 and want to have a family and I don't have time to just date around with someone who doesn't have the same goals. I know he already has children of his own so I have to broach the topic before we go any further. Any normal man would have run in the other direction as quickly as possible. Not him. He goes on to share that he is open to having more children. I'm relieved. Then he drops the bomb...he's had a vasectomy. He quickly assures me that "there are options available".

For some strange reason, I continue to date this man and, in a very short time, I come to realize that this man is wonderful in so many ways. He is caring, open, supportive, affectionate and very funny. We feel very comfortable with each other, we get along very well with together, we have common interests and we share the same dreams.

So, we begin the process of researching all the options online. Vasectomy reversal can take up to 2 years to be successful - we don't feel we have the time as with every precious month going by, so are my precious eggs. Artifical insemination is not an option unless we use donor sperm - I want "him" to be the father of my children. Adoption - well, we are open to it, but really want at at least one of our own. So, after several doctor consulatations and preliminary testing to make sure we are both "good" candidates, we opt for the IVF route.